Now that I’m in the second trimester, I don’t feel as constantly sick as I used to. In fact, sometimes I feel totally normal and am surprised when I look down and see a bump.
Oh yeah, I’m pregnant.
I’m currently on a business trip to Memphis. I was sure to pick aisle seats the whole trip over and back so that I wouldn’t have to climb over people to use the bathroom often. On the first leg of the trip, I got into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My big, round self. I continue to marvel at how my body is changing so quickly that I can hardly keep up. I touched my round belly, and suddenly got very emotional. I am this vessel for this miraculous thing. All those trite things are true! I’m amazed at what is happening, what is scheduled to happen in March, if all goes well.
I had a hard time composing myself. Every time I thought I was getting a hold of my tears, I would just see my big belly and start crying again. So, rather than continuing to hog the airplane bathroom, I decided that I could force myself to composure by just walking out, which I did. And I was fine.
What is happening to me?? I’m so weepy, and I get weepy so suddenly. My body is going through these crazy changes. I’m growing something inside me, for goodness’ sake. I’m a host for this alien taking over my body, my emotions, my thoughts… In the ultrasound, you can see it move. It’s independent, doing what it wants in there, taking what it needs from me in there. THIS IS WEIRD.