My emotional roller coaster

Posted on October 8, 2012. Filed under: Pregnancy | Tags: , |

I take public transit to and from work every day. The earlier I catch the train in the morning, the more likely it is I can get a seat. The afternoon is another story since I leave during the typical rush hour. The other day, after a long day at work, I got onto a crowded train… and no one would offer me a seat on the train. I found out that when the train lurches, you use both your leg muscles and your abdominal muscles to keep steady. Ow! And it’s just ridiculous trying to keep your balance when you’re carrying weight in a totally different way than you were two months ago!

I admit, after a long day at the office, I was tired, annoyed, and emotional. When someone near me got up to get off at a stop, and a lady behind me snuck into the seat before I could sit, I simply lost it. I started tearing up and feeling so pathetic. Cried silently right there in the train car!

I had this big belly, I felt totally heavy and fat and lopsided, I was tired and my center of balance was totally off, and why won’t anyone offer me a seat?? Waaaahhhhhhh! Now, come on. I didn’t really need a seat. I was OK. I’ve taken the train standing the whole way before that and since then, and it’s been completely fine. But at that moment! It’s like I was invisible and completely alone in the whole wide sad world.

And tonight… oh tonight. I was going to make fajitas, and my husband bought the chicken for it. But what does he buy? Chicken legs! Chicken legs!!!  On the bone!  For heaven’s sake, man! How am I supposed to make fajitas from chicken still on the frikkin thigh bone?

I can laugh about it as I write this because it’s so silly, but earlier tonight, I just cried and cried there in the kitchen. Wept uncontrollably! The onions were carmelized, the bell peppers were ready, and here I am, battling and trying everything I could think of to get enough meat off the leg bones to cook them up. I finally gave up and cooked what I could, which was only about half of what the recipe called for. In protest, I left the yummy-smelling fajitas there and warmed a can of soup for dinner. I didn’t want to have anything to do with that damn chicken!

I get all weepy at the most ridiculous times for the silliest things.


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