I’m definitely NOT pregnant. I think.

Some weeks ago, I thought I was pregnant.  Is that implantation bleeding?  Is the timing right?  The timing is exactly right. Well, I reserved judgment. Let me wait until an actual missed period before I start taking tests and getting excited.

Then I had some significant bleeding. Oh, that’s another chemical pregnancy, I thought. Another sadness, but I certainly know by now that these things happen.

I figured, maybe my cycle will reset itself quickly and I will have another opportunity to try again. A week later, more bleeding. What the heck is going on? My body was acting funny, totally out of whack. But the bleeding stopped after a couple of hours.

A couple of weeks later, my husband was sufficiently tired of hearing me complain about how sick I felt all the time that he suggested I take a home pregnancy test.

I stared at him, stunned.

“But I’m not pregnant,” I said. “I lost it. All the bleeding. Chemical pregnancy.”

“Take the test,” he said.

I dragged my feet. No HPTs in the house, and I figured I’d get one at some point, but to be honest, I didn’t really want a big fat negative staring me in the face. Talk about rubbing it in.  I was not pregnant.

My husband got a little fed up, called me one evening on his way home from the gym. “I’m going to stop at the drugstore and buy a test. The pink one or the blue one? You pick, but I’m coming home with something.”

I gulped. “The pink one is fine.”

He came home, I took the test, absolutely positive that the test would be absolutely negative. So, imagine my shock when I got a plus sign.

“No way,” I said to myself in the bathroom. “No way, no way, no way. All the bleeding…”

I shared the test result with my husband who was very, very happy. But I told him that the pregnancy hormones might still be in my system, working their way out, which might result in a positive test. It didn’t matter to him. “Go email your doctor.”

Ugh! Wouldn’t he let up? I’m not pregnant! I’m not pregnant! Do we have to go through this humiliating process?

I emailed my doctor, she wanted a series of quantitative HCG tests done, I got the blood work, I got the results, and … positive. I mean, way positive. And getting more positive as the days progress.

Well, I guess I should eat my words. Pregnant I am. Will this one stick? I don’t know. But my nausea and fatigue are good enough reminders of how wrong I was without my loving husband’s occasional “I told you so” look sent my way every now and then.

Ultrasound next Friday. Let’s hope it’s different than every single other ultrasound I’ve ever had.