Archive for February, 2012

Our first adoption informational session

Posted on February 13, 2012. Filed under: Adoption | Tags: , |

I know… I just had a positive HPT, yet we’re going to adoption informational sessions.  Are we nuts?

No!  After two failed pregnancies, I can’t just sit on my hands. I need to *do* something.  Besides, even if this pregnancy sticks, we’ll likely be adopting our second child anyway. That was always an option. So, the agency whose materials spoke to us the most had an info session last Saturday and we went.

First of all, let me say that there is a world of difference in the materials I have received from various agencies.  Some are so blatantly sensationalist and emotionally manipulative, that it makes me puke. “Imagine you’re young and pregnant. You’re scared, you don’t know where to turn…” Seriously, people? Ease up on the melodrama.  I want the facts. And I am skeptical of your “facts” if you line up all the adoption options and you have 20 items in the disadvantages column for everything but your agency.  How transparent.  I totally understand that the purpose is to sell your services, but don’t do it poorly under the guise of presenting an “objective” approach to evaluating options.

Then there are others whose glossy reprints have scores of happy family photos… except they’re all Caucasian and heterosexual and good-looking. So, what if you don’t look like that? I prefer the reprints with families of all kinds!

And then there are those who obviously didn’t even bother to have their materials proofread. The content uses “it’s” for possessives and says, “Don’t be mislead…” and so many other grammatical and spelling mistakes that it actually distracts from the content. Ugh!

So!  The first agency we decided to check out was one that had been around for a long while, and in their print materials, made it very clear that they do not have any restrictions on race, ethnicity, age, marital status, anything.  On their website, they have an interracial and gay couple holding a little baby.  Now this is an agency that fits my values!

* * * * *

We learned a heck of a lot!  And after recently hearing my good friend’s discouraging stories about how she and her husband were rejected time and again by multiple agencies for various reasons, domestic as well as international, I was ready to give up before we even started. They’re older, she’s Jewish, he’s Christian, there is history of anxiety and depression which is now a non-issue since it was well-managed many years ago… I mean, these people would make wonderful parents, but they’re out of the running for some reason or another.

After this initial info session, however, I’m feeling a little bit better, not so discouraged. We may go to a few more, just to gather as much information as possible.

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