Is it just me, or are there babies EVERYWHERE?!

I can’t tell whether it’s my heightened sensitivity since suffering a miscarriage, or if in fact, everyone has suddenly become ridiculously fertile.  There’s baby news everywhere I turn!

  • A good high school friend just announced she’s having a boy.
  • A former coworker gave birth on December 17.
  • My sister-in-law gave birth in October.
  • My ex-boyfriend and his wife had a baby just before Christmas.
  • Another good friend had her first, a girl, in November.

Not to mention celebrities (yes, I pay attention to that stuff): Kate Hudson (aged 31), Victoria Beckham (36), Natalie Portman (29), Alicia Silverstone (34), Jewel (36), etc etc.

How nice for all these people (and I mean that).  I guess I am still a little hurt and disappointed that I’m not still carrying a little one myself.  There’s so much joy around children and especially newborns.  I wonder if it will happen for me.  I turn 36 in August.

I’m recovering emotionally just fine, I think, although a condolence note sent to me by a family member sent me into a new stream of tearfulness.  We’re not trying or not not trying; I’m just opting not to be consumed by getting pregnant again.

It can be difficult when everyone’s got baby fever, or when day-to-day life just catches up to you.  For example, my husband and I had decided when I was pregnant that we would need to buy a car.  We had planned on doing research through the holidays and start test driving in January.  We went on our first test drives today, and afterwards, I was struck by thoughts such as, “Why are we doing this?  Isn’t it pointless?  Do we even need a new car without a little one?”  I became sad and was beset with uncertainty and indecision.

So, I will of course have to continue to take it one day at a time.  What else can I do?  Time passing has helped, but I wish I knew what the future held.  Will I get pregnant again?  Will it be soon or take ages?  What does this new year hold for me and my family?