Brave New World: no safe sex

Posted on August 21, 2010. Filed under: Pregnancy | Tags: , |

Driving without a seatbelt.
Running with your eyes closed.
Stepping out into the busy street.
Trying to beat the oncoming train.
Having sex without protection.

Same things.

After being on very reliable birth control for more than a decade, I … stopped. I just stopped. I didn’t order that next pill pack. No condoms. No nothing. There’s a void in the medicine cabinet where I used to keep my pill pack. Nothing else has taken its place, so the emptiness of that tiny spot is appallingly glaring. I used to panic on that occasional fourth Sunday night where I would have forgotten to get a refill. YIKES! But there’s nothing like this feeling. I open up that medicine cabinet every day for the toothpaste or other things, so I’m haunted by the lack of pills right there in the lower left-hand corner. Gone. And it reminds me that I’m totally on the high wire with absolutely no safety net.

Independent from the issue of leaving myself open to pregnancy (which is what’s going on, by the way… we’re not at the point where we’re desperately planning every moment, like taking temperatures and scheduling ideal baby-making times), I’m discovering that I’m very wary of this new situation from the standpoint of just stopping something I was so adamant about for so long. I took a pill EVERY DAY for more than 10 years, and now, I don’t. It’s weird.

Birth control was so hammered into my brain from a young age that I thought people who got pregnant unintentionally were quite literally stupid. (Thought – past tense. I don’t universally think that now. Not really. Not most of the time.) I’ve been wanting kids for a while, but it was all very conceptual. I never thought about the tactical implementation, so to speak.

1. Stop taking the pill.
2. Continue sexual relations. Don’t stress.
3. Check for pregnancy occasionally.

Numbers 2 and 3 were on my radar, and number 1 is a no-brainer … except I never considered that I’d have some emotional transition to experience.

I wonder how nervous high wire people actually feel…

[picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=high+wire&iid=1499908″ src=”http://view2.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/1499908/world-high-wire/world-high-wire.jpg?size=500&imageId=1499908″ width=”380″ height=”247″ /]

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