I shouldn’t just ASSUME I’ll get pregnant when I want

Posted on August 18, 2010. Filed under: Adoption, Pregnancy | Tags: , , |

OK, I know for a fact that I’m not the first person (or the last) to be grappling with What-Ifs as it relates to a possible pregnancy.

As a result of my often A-type personality (I’m a frequent A’er, not a constant A’er), I feel like I need to do some serious scenario planning and decide now about what I might do given the What Ifs. Here’s one: What if I don’t get pregnant?

I like to think this one is easy-speasy. Why, we’ll just adopt sooner! I like that we have been talking about adoption as a way to build our family from the very beginning. Frankly, I want it to be a way to refocus energy away from the potential disappointment and inadequacy that not being able to get pregnant might present.

Adoption isn’t just a field trip, though. Supporting kids who might grapple with depression and abandonment and trust issues… not to mention any physical issues stemming from unknown or uncertain biology or bad history… but I love the idea of taking a kid in and sharing the insane amount of love and support my and my husband’s families would give.

But how long do we wait? If I’m not pregnant by the time I’m 36, I don’t think I want to wait anymore. Besides, adoption can take a while.

* * * *
Point is, there are WAY too many unknowns, and my A-type personality is very uncomfortable with that. Hm, I feel as though there’s a lesson in there someplace for someone wanting to have kids…

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